“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Frank Herbert, Dune

Dear Daughters,

Another mantra quote, Mother? (What I imagine you are saying as you read this.)

Yeah, I know. I’m obsessed with them.

But this one…

This one I’ve recited to myself since the 80’s, when I first read the Dune series by Frank Herbert.

I’ve relied upon it a thousand times. Like when I…

Crossed a rotting, rope bridge suspended over a deep crevice in Papua New Guinea.

Jumped out of an airplane.

Became a single mother.

Contemplated getting married again.

Released my first book.

Delivered my first Laughter Wellness workshop in front of 200 people.

Watched each of you drive off in the car by yourself for the first time.

And so on.

This one is my courage mantra.

Wield it to slay the following five fears and all the other ones along your journey.

1. Fear of the Unknown

Welcome to the adventure called life. Here’s why you should embrace the unknown.

You are confident. You are intelligent. You are agile. You are a critical thinker. Your brains works fast so you can think on your feet. You don’t need to know every fact and every detail beforehand to conquer new scenarios and challenges. Excessive planning is a waste of energy because there are too many variables. And, it’s a form of procrastination. Besides, the known is boring. The unknown is exciting. Be like Dora, The Explorer. Grab a backpack, a trusty map, and begin your adventure!

2. Fear of Failure

Welcome to humanity. Here’s why failure is good.

If you never fail then I’ve failed you as a parent. That means you’re playing it too safe. If you aren’t failing then you aren’t taking enough risks. The most dynamic and successful people are always seeking out new opportunities. They Go BIG every time. When you get pummeled or stumble and face plant it, lick your wounds for a short time, then make yourself get back up and go at it again and again. Oh, and every time you biff it? You’ll learn a lot of VIP stuff. Really, failure is the wrong term, let’s use unintended outcomes instead. Like the accidental creation of penicillin, sometimes unintended outcomes are brilliant!

3. Fear of Success

Welcome to…yawn! This sounds like a first world problem. Here’s why you need to go for broke.

Sometimes you go big and make it! Congratulations! It’s an exhilarating feeling and part of that exhilaration is the fear. Success can feel like moving up to the next level in a video game. New challenges, new threats, new tools to learn. Success will yank you right out of your previous comfort zone. That’s a good thing. Hanging out too long in your comfort zone is a recipe for mediocrity and stagnation. Don’t do it. Grow. Evolve. Ascend the ladder of self-actualization. And remember to do a happy dance every time you hit the next level!

4. Fear of Rejection

Welcome to the love rollercoaster. Here’s why you need to get on.

If you engage in any type of relationship you will get rejected at some point. It hurts, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot. However the alternative is worse–being alone because you were afraid of rejection. Never learning from another person. Never learning more about yourself from being in a relationship with another person. Never making that special connection. Never experiencing the ecstasy. Never experiencing the agony, and…guess what, you can’t feel one without the other. Get on and take the ride!

5. Fear of Making a Wrong Choice

Welcome to the world of gambling. Here’s why you need to pick a card.

Life is like a game of poker. We make the best decisions with the information we have available. Sometimes we win the round and sometimes we lose it BUT you have to pick a card otherwise nothing happens. Analysis paralysis can kill not only the game, but also your confidence. So pick a card, any card, examine what you got, bet and play your hand. Then move on to the next hand and the next and the one after. It’s called movement, progress, life!

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

Winston Churchill

Go forth and be brave!

All my love!

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Click here to read the Playful Relaxation post!