Terri Weeding

My thoughts during the ascent.
Gee, I see why they call this plane the brown turd. There’s a lot of duck tape in here!
It’s hot and stuffy and someone’s breath reeks. Glad I popped a mint.
It’s a beautiful sunny day. A good day to die.
Wonder why I don’t feel nervous? I don’t remember taking a tranquilizer this morning.
I hope we free fall for a really long time!

My thoughts during the 40 second free fall descent.
Whew! This is awesome! It doesn’t feel like I’m hurtling 120 miles an hour through the air.
It’s kinda noisy.
I know my face is flapping.
Arch backward. The instructor said to keep on arching. I wonder what happens if I stop?

My thoughts during the parachute float to the ground.
Whoa! Sudden jerk upward. Feels like I got a wedgy everywhere.
It’s quiet now.
Really peaceful.
I like spinning.
It’s over already?
I want to do it again!

Skydiving is on my list of things to do before I kick.

A couple years ago, I was ready to go for it until I saw an article about a woman who made the leap and landed FACE FIRST in a gravel parking lot.

I wish I could ask her some vital questions.

Are tiny rocks permanently embedded in your pores?
Was the rush worth the pain?
Have you made any subsequent jumps?

For my b-day this year, I got a certificate for a jump from my hubbie. Prepaid.

Before I made the call, I thought about the woman and her face.

I decided to go for it, anyway. Taking a risk means sometimes you fall on your face in a big way. Like from an airplane.

Maybe, I’ll wear a hockey mask.

My favorites, in no particular order . . .

The Art of Fiction by John Gardner
The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman
On Writing by Stephen King
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
Writing the Breakout Novel by Donald Maass

If you are serious about learning to write well and getting published, you MUST, MUST read books about grammar, editing, marketing, agents, and the publishing process too.

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Browne and King
Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips For Better Writing by Mignon Fogarty (she also does podcasts; see itunes)
1001 Ways to Market Your Books by John Kremer
The Frugal Book Promoter by Carolyn Howard-Johnson
Guerilla Marketing for Writers by Jay Conrad Levinson, Rick Frishman, Michael Larsen
How to Get a Literary Agent by Michael Larsen

I love periodicals too. I subscribe to Writer’s Digest and The Writer.
Plus there’s a bazillion websites about writing, there are writing organizations in every state, etc., etc., etc . . .

Read this stuff. Just don’t forget to MAKE time to write!

Sharks seem to scare the crap out of most people.

I blame the movie Jaws.

A hundred rows of teeth, the gigantic snout, dead eyes, the two fins sticking out of the water, that music, severed limbs, gushing blood, and terror, mind-blowing terror.

Even if you haven’t seen the movie, you’re scared. My kids haven’t, and still they are petrified to venture out farther than their waists.

The odds are slim that you or I will be attacked, and yet a loose stalk of seaweed can send us screaming toward the shore.

Many people think sharks hunt humans. My kids for instance. Of course, my one daughter believes scorpions hunt people too.

That’s what fear does for you.

Just finished a huge novel, at least 120,000 words, almost 900 pages of font so teeny tiny I almost dug out my kid’s Dora the Explorer magnifying glass.

After faithfully plugging through lush prose, vivid imagery, and exciting characters, the author declined to . . . settle matters. Major characters disappeared. People were left gravely injured. The author split in the middle of the action!

This was my reaction. Throw book against wall. Stomp downstairs. Tell eight-year old and dog what happened. Stomp upstairs, retrieve book, give to dog hoping he will eat it. He does not. He knows books are sacred.

Hey, smarty pants author, if you are going to write a really, really long novel, for the love of Tolstoy, provide a resolution!

I finished the marathon. Now give me the gold medal, the t-shirt, the free water bottle, and yeah, I want those ugly crocodile shoes too. I earned that stuff. Heck, I bought that stuff with my entrance fee!

A definite perk . . . bringing on the sexy factor!

Maybe you felt like you never had any. Zumba will help you get some.
Maybe you had it and lost it. Zumba will help you find it again.
Maybe you have it but supress it. Zumba will help you express it.
Just shake your thing, baby!
And remember, while you’re dancing like a wild woman, you’re burning a crap lot of calories.

What if you could burn 500-800 calories in an hour and have a blast doing it?

Zumba, baby.

Target your core, gluts, and arms. Improve your posture, coordination, and sensuality factor.

Zumba, baby.

This high intensity, low impact workout is appropriate for women of all ages and sizes.

Zumba, baby . . . and spice up your life!

Success is not final,
failure is not fatal.
it is the courage to continue that counts.

Winston Churchill

So when you’re feeling discouraged, think about what this guy dealt with during WWII!
The dude totally persevered. For a really long time. Like 7 years or something.

(I’m clearing my throat.)

Embroidered Life  (this is the title)

exquisite needlework
spectators coo
for the real story …
turn me over
loose threads
droplets of blood
do-overs and all
those obligatory rows
only the spiritual detect
five imperfect stitches
of conscious joy

(I’m clearing my throat.)

Cellular Memory (title)

Aside:  I usually beat my bongo drums while reciting.

didn’t know about the relocation
of one live heart
the complications
the duplications
the interrelations
congratulations
lucky winner

didn’t know about memories that linger
hallucinations
those prodding sensations
burrowing deeper
with every beat
into you
lucky winner

didn’t know about the yin and the yang
the compilation of woman and man
revolution
revelation
re generation
who are you now?
lucky winner