Category — Humor Writing Contest

Bong . . . bong . . . bong . . .

Click the link if you want to hear bonging . . . if not . . . never mind . . . http://youtu.be/3R8CDKd5Ibo

My Summertime Little Ole Humor Writing Contest has begun!

June 20 -Aug 20.  If you DON’T have a stack of funny little stories in your drawer, GET BUSY! You have a measly 2 months to come up with something short and witty.

Click on http://terriweeding.com/little-ole-humor-writin-contest/ for the details.

Remember to follow this process.

1.  Think of a funny idea.

2.   Write a funny short on your funny idea.

3.    Read your funny short to a couple people.

3a.  Did they get it? Did they laugh?

4.   Edit, and read it to two different people.

4a. Did they get it? Did they laugh?

5.  Write final draft and have someone proof it.

5a. Read your funny short to a couple people who are different than the previous four people.

6.   Did they get it? Did they laugh?

7.   Submit your funny short to my contest.

** Note: If no one got it, if no one laughed, don’t submit it. Start the process over!!

My Middle Name 

 My name is Sharon G. Broyer. In case you don’t figure it out from what I’m about to tell you, the middle initial really stands for “Gullible.” I’m the kind of person who just doesn’t expect people to snow me, which makes it all the easier for them to do it, over and over again…

There was the time my sister-in-law visited us while my husband happened to be sleeping on the couch, sans shoes. “Don’t sit there,” I whispered as she was about to sit in the open spot next to his feet. “His feet really stink.” That night, as I rested my head on my pillow, I noticed an odd odor. Hubby started to chuckle. I had no clue he’d overheard me, and to get his revenge he’d stuffed my pillowcase with his dirty socks. (Two points hubby; Shari-zero, like her I.Q.)

And then there was the trip to Niagara Falls and its attractions, one of which was a wax museum. Outside the entrance was a life-size figure of Frankenstein. Feeling playful, I reached up to stroke his cheek, and said, “Hello there, handsome!” When he stiffly raised his hands and replied, “Hello beautiful, how ‘bout a hug?”I screamed and bolted down the sidewalk. (The bystander with camera gets all the credits, probably on America’s Funniest.)

Once I was called to assist a street fair magician because I looked “like the adventuresome type” (looked like a sucker was more like it). He’d been manipulating scarves and producing flowers, birds, etc. He held a long one up and said, “Don’t get the wrong idea, but I need to stuff this down the front of your shirt. Are you game?” Clueless me, I said, “Yes.” “Now, I want you to put your forehead on mine and look into my eyes while I tell you a joke, and when I’m done, you pull one end of this scarf and I’ll pull the other on the count of three, okay?” “Okay.” The joke was told, the count was given, and the scarf was pulled. The audience roared as a bra popped out, and I reeled in embarrassed astonishment. (Turned out it wasn’t my bra, just one about my size—small—like my brain.)

And the time the scarecrow sitting in a chair outside the home my little grandson and I approached while trick-or-treating got up and opened the door for us, and I screamed bloody murder making my grandson and the guy in the costume laugh (you’d a thunk I’d gotten wise after ole Frankie, but no-o, not this naïve nitwit).

A last example: A musician friend of mine gave a concert and I attended. I felt comfortable enough with him to heckle him playfully from the audience. After zinging him mildly a few times, he decided enough was enough. “Shari,” he said, “did you know ‘gullible’ isn’t in the dictionary?” “It isn’t?” came the automatic response.  ZING! ZING!

So now you know why my middle name really isn’t Gayle.

Shari Broyer has been writing since childhood. Her earliest award: a 1st place trophy for Creative Writing at 8th grade graduation. Formerly: Editor in Chief of KSU Ashtabula’s Kaleidoscope; Facilitator, writers group, Barnes and Noble, High Point, NC; host of Writer’s Digest World’s Largest Writing Workshop; published in various literary anthologies; top 100 winner, Writer’s Digest 2000 competition–Inspirational category, etc. Currently, she facilitates Writers Roundtable at Changing Hands Bookstore in Mesa, AZ. Her goal: #1 New York Times best-selling author. Her first novel, Ether Man, a paranormal romantic comedy, is in simultaneous submission to several agents.  Check her out at:  http://www.fanstory.com/shariannegaylee